The Matthew 28:19 Project

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about letting go. This is because I recently encountered a situation that I found extremely unfair, and it has reminded me just how hard it can be to apply God’s Word to my life. I’m an introvert by nature, which means I tend to take things too seriously, overthink, and replay conversations in my head. Now, mind you, these conversations never actually happened. They’re just conversations my imagination has conjured up. I stew. I brood. And before I know it, I’m worked up over things that never actually happened. My imagination takes things and blows them way out of proportion. This is a downside to being an introvert. The truth is, in the grand scheme of things, there’s nothing I can do to change the situation, and all my stewing has left me angry and restless.

Scripture tells us, “Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7). I’ve tried to do that, but since I keep replaying it in my mind, I haven’t really handed anything over to God at all. I take a lot of pride and put a lot of effort into everything that I do, so this situation struck a nerve and left me feeling pretty salty. This is where living out Scripture gets difficult. I can read about forgiveness. I can read about trusting God and letting go of things that upset me. But doing it, actually releasing it, is sometimes harder than it should be. “Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him; do not fret when people succeed in their ways” (Psalm 37:7). I’ve learned that this is easier said than lived and easier said than done.

My struggle is that I tend to keep things bottled up. As an introvert, I process everything internally instead of out loud. I don’t confront people by nature, so I just brood over situations in silence. And I know that isn’t healthy. “An anxious heart weighs a person down” (Proverbs 12:25), and I’ve felt that weight for the past couple of weeks.

The Bible is clear that holding grudges isn’t God’s way. Jesus tells us plainly, “Forgive, and you will be forgiven” (Luke 6:37). Sometimes the wisest and hardest choice is to release the whole situation and place it in God’s hands. I’ve done that, and honestly, I’ve had to keep doing it. Because the moment I start stewing again, that stinky old devil tries to move right back into my thoughts, and suddenly I’m mad all over again.

But I’m learning. I’ve got to let it go and move forward. “Casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5). This isn’t just a verse; it’s a daily discipline that I’m not really that good at yet. I’ll keep praying, keep reading Scripture, and keep filling my mind with better things so there’s no room for bitterness and resentment to take root.

Here’s the beautiful part: while I’m over here wrestling with my thoughts, God is sneaky because He has been quietly working by softening my heart, reshaping my perspective, and filling my mind with Him. He’s teaching me even as I write this. “Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ” (Philippians 1:6). He will carry me through this season of my life.

So today, I’m choosing surrender over stewing, yet again. I’m choosing trust over resentment, even when my thoughts try to sneak back in for a second round. I may have to hand this situation back to God more than once, or twice, maybe even many more times, but that is okay because God is still working on me! I know He’s faithful to carry what I was never meant to hold. I’m learning that as I let go, take deep breaths to recenter my thoughts, and return to prayer again and again, God still shows up. He’s sneaky like that.