The Matthew 28:19 Project

My mother used to tell me that if I didn’t have something good to say, I should keep my mouth shut. I’ve pretty much lived by that mantra. I’m not sure whether that comes from my introverted nature or simply from taking my mom’s words to heart. Lately, though, those words have been on my mind because of the rise in online bullying by Christians and non-Christians. I noticed this trend while reading the comments on concert livestreams. That led me down a rabbit hole where I realized this wasn’t just happening to them but to Christians in general.

I’ve written before about my experiences with bullying, and I know firsthand how demoralizing and painful those comments can be. I was bullied in elementary school. I was shy and hearing impaired, and classmates picked on me, made fun of me, or ignored me altogether. I was even bullied by teachers. I once had a teacher lie about me, which caused me to miss basketball camp. I remember lying in bed crying, heartbroken, not just because I missed camp, but because an adult had lied about me. My parents believed me, mostly because the lie was so out of character that no one who knew me believed it. To cope with the bullying, I turned to food, which only led to more bullying when I was called fat. I wasn’t fat, just a little chunky, but hearing that repeatedly, on top of everything else, crushed my self-esteem for years. Honestly, it wasn’t until the last 10–20 years that I overcame that. I think I just reached that point in my life where I didn’t care what others thought about me; however, bullying stays with you. It shapes you, for better or worse. For me, it made me determined not to be that person to someone else, online or in real life. I’m not perfect, but I’m mindful. My conscience won’t let me behave the way those people did on the live streams I was watching. It won’t let me behave online the way I sometimes see people behaving. God is sneaky because I just realized that God always been there, even when I was far away from Him. He has been there guiding me and shaping me into the person I am today.

Seeing what some younger Christian artists have faced the past couple of weeks with online bullying has stirred up memories I thought I had left behind. It feels like bullying has gotten worse now that everyone has a platform online. What surprises me most is that many people aren’t even hiding behind anonymity because they post these things under their own names. That’s one reason I’ve stopped reading comment sections on posts from people I admire. The comments are often just mean-spirited. I don’t understand why people say things online that they would never say face-to-face. Why would someone tell a young singer worshiping Jesus that she moves like a stripper? Why tell a person you know is a born-again believer that they’re going to hell because they lean differently politically? Some things are simply better left unsaid. Just like my mom always said, if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.

I think people who claim to be Christians yet post mean-spirited things need to pause and take a hard look in the mirror. Love isn’t just something Christians talk about; it’s something we are commanded to live out daily. Jesus said in Matthew 22:39, “Love your neighbor as yourself,” echoing what the Lord said in Leviticus 19:18. One of the best ways we live that out is through our words. Our words matter, whether they are spoken or typed. They are part of our testimony. How we treat people in person is our testimony, but how we treat people online is too. When believers tear others down, they don’t just damage their own witness; they make it harder for other Christians to show the world what a Christ-centered life really looks like. It’s not hard to see why some believers walk away from church or why nonbelievers want nothing to do with Christianity when they see Christians condemning others over politics, tattoos, past mistakes, time in prison, addictions, Bible translations, or methods of sharing the Gospel. And honestly, how else are we supposed to reach people if we refuse to go where they are?

In today’s world, it’s far too easy to become a “keyboard warrior,” firing off harsh words without thinking about their impact. I am seeing many Christians falling into this trap and forgetting that hateful, cruel, or bitter words do not reflect Jesus. Scripture warns us, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue” (Proverbs 18:21). Our words can either build people up or tear them down.

And one day, we will answer for them. Jesus gave a sobering reminder in Matthew 12:36–37: every idle word will be accounted for on the Day of Judgment. That’s not just for loud or outspoken people, no, that’s for all of us.

These past couple of weeks have reminded me to stay mindful of my words. It’s usually easier to be careful face-to-face, but I’ve been reminded to be just as careful behind a screen. To think before I type. To think again before I hit send. To ask myself, “Does this really need to be said?” I never want someone to question whether Christ lives in me because of the words I speak, or the words I type.

Our words will either reflect the life of Christ in us or reveal a heart Satan has infiltrated. Don’t let Satan pull you into careless, bitter, or destructive speech. Instead, choose words that reflect grace, truth, mercy, and love. When our hearts belong to Jesus, our words should too. Let your words point people toward Christ, not away from Him. One day, we will stand before Jesus, and the words we speak will still matter.